Sunday, April 4, 2010

Birthday Bash

It was the weekend before we were set to leave for Texas and I was having a big 30th birthday party. I can't believe I agreed to a big party amongst all of the packing and getting ready for the big trip. I remember being emotionally a wreck all day that Saturday...the day of the party. I just didn't know how to deal with all the emotions I was experiencing. So, I just cried...and cried...and cried. I cried because I was absolutely overjoyed at the thought that I was about to become a mother. I cried because I was scared that I would come home from Texas without becoming a mother. I cried because of all the pain B was about to face. We had grown so close over the last few months and become friends. I knew she was having a hard time that weekend...I could hear it in her voice. I remember thinking how weird it was that I was partying for my 30th and elated about becoming a mother while she was grieving and trying to prepare herself for what was to come. She loved this little baby girl...that I could tell. So, how was she going to place her in our arms? Oh, the strength and courage! If only I had an ounce of it!

Stephen's family came over on Sunday night before we were set to leave on Monday and prayed over us...for the days ahead. They prayed of course for our safety traveling and the birth of the baby. But what was so amazing was they all prayed for B. They prayed that God would give her the strength she needed to carry out HIS plan. They prayed that God would give her peace and that He would carry her through these hard days ahead. See, they too had become so attached to her as well and so grateful for all that she was giving up in order to bring us such joy. As I prayed that night I remember just wanting for God to have all the glory through everything. I wanted the nurses and staff at the hospital to see the work of God in such a mighty way that they had to believe it was Him who orchestrated all of this.I wanted anyone who came to the hospital(friends or family) to just sense God's presence. And I prayed that no matter the outcome that I(we) would still believe that God is good and He is sovereign... because He is.

To be continued...

No comments: