I Got All My Sisters and Me

The plan was to arrive in San Antonio on Friday night and check in to the hotel to unwind and rest up for the big day on Saturday. We were supposed to meet up with B on Saturday morning and she had the whole day planned out for us. However, she SURPRISED us at the airport when we got off the plane! We didn't know what she looked like but we knew it was her when we saw the pink flowers and pink balloons. I remember the first thing I noticed about her was her beautiful smile. It lit up the room....or the airport I should say. B's mom was with her and they asked if we wanted to go to dinner with them. We went to dinner and it went better than I expected. The conversation was great and it was a good start to the weekend.

On Saturday we went to lunch with B, her mom, and two of her sisters at this cool place. We had the best time and told them all about us and what our life was like back home in Tennessee. B's mom of course told lots of stories about her growing up through the years. B is one of five girls so there were lots and lots of stories to be told! We also learned that day that of the five sisters B was the only one who was not left handed. That went over well with Stephen who is a lefty and he immediately began saying that it must mean the baby will be left handed!

After lunch we went back to B's mom's house to hang out. We talked and and looked at pictures of all the girls but especially of B. We spent the whole afternoon just talking about our families and about the baby and how much this baby was loved already by so many. We(Stephen and I) shared how we felt like we were gaining new family members and B and her mom felt the same way. Such a sweet time. God was answering our prayers. And just when I didn't think it could get any sweeter....it did! I had just walked out of the bathroom and B jumped and said, "Jessica, come over here!" I walked over to her and she took my hand and placed it on her belly. My heart skipped a beat when I felt the baby move and kick inside of B. Talk about a moment you will never forget....that was definitely one of those moments!






To be continued...

An Upcoming Trip

We made plans to go to San Antonio to meet B for late January and my emotions were all over the place as the trip grew near. I was of course overjoyed at the thought of giving this precious woman a great big hug and meeting her face to face. However, I was a nervous wreck as well. It was one thing to like us in pictures and over the phone but a totally different thing to like us in person! All of my insecurities were coming out now full force. I mean I can chat and carry on a normal conversation with someone but I'm not just totally extroverted. If there was ever a time in my life where I wish I was extroverted it was right then and there!

Those days leading up to the visit were spent much in prayer. I kept doubting and worrying that she wouldn't like us and we wouldn't be "fun enough" in her eyes. I worried that after the trip was over she would tell us she was going to chose someone else to parent her baby. I just kept laying it at the Lord's feet and asking for His peace. I tried to rest in Him and His plan for us but it was...oh...so...hard. He had asked me months ago to trust Him and I was trying my best to do that. I don't know why that was so hard to do. I guess because there was so much at stake.

So, it was a Thursday night and we packed our bags to head to San Antonio once again. We settled into bed and prayed for our trip...that God would just allow it to be a sweet beginning of a new life long relationship. And of course once again we found ourselves looking at each other and asking, "Now how are we supposed to get any sleep tonight?"

To be continued...

I Couldn't Believe My Eyes

We were trucking right along making our phone calls to fill everyone in on our news. I remember scheduling lunches with friends to tell them the news. Friends who had prayed for me...for us...for so long. It was also the Christmas season remember so we of course had such a great Christmas that year dreaming about what the next Christmas season would be like. We even got so many gifts from family members for the new baby!

A couple of weeks after Christmas I was at work one day and Stephen called me. Remember the part about Stephen's tears coming later....well this is later. He had been on call the day/night before so he was getting home from one of those hard 36 hour straight shifts. His call made my day for sure. As if I wasn't already in a current state of bliss...this just sealed the deal. He said, "I'm looking at a picture of our baby girl right now." He was all choked up so I wanted to make sure I heard him correctly. "You're doing what?" I asked. He said that B mailed us an ultrasound picture of the baby and he was staring at it. I of course raced home as soon as I could get out of the office because I had to get my eyes on that ultrasound picture! I couldn't believe me eyes. I didn't think I was ever going to look at an ultrasound picture of my baby. I don't think our sweet birthmom will ever realize what a big....HUGE....deal that was to us. You see, every time a pregnant woman goes to the dr. for an ultrasound they give her pictures and she proudly shows them off to all her friends and family. We got to do that too. It made us feel normal. And for that we are so grateful.





To be continued...

Tears of Joy

I guess I don't have to tell you what our answer was to B that night. I remember wanting to answer her so badly and yell at the top of my lungs...YES, of course we will! But I couldn't stop sobbing long enough to get any words out. So Stephen did all the talking that night. He was his usual calm, cool, and collected self! And in case you are wondering, his tears of joy are coming soon in this story. He said something so sweet to B. He said that we would be honored to raise this precious little girl and that we were overwhelmed with joy that she chose us. We didn't talk long that night with B because like I said...I just didn't have words...only tears of sheer joy. We ended the call and told her we would talk again soon.

We got off the phone and held each other for awhile and I kept telling Stephen he was going to be a Daddy and he kept telling me I was going to be a Mommy. Such a sweet memory! We of course couldn't keep the news to ourselves. We didn't have time(at least in that moment) to worry about the "what ifs" and wonder who all should we tell if anyone about our match. We were just so happy that our baby was on her way we had to tell our friends and family! My first phone call was to my sister. We had been through a lot in recent months...even more than I shared in this story....with losing mom...and we had just gotten news about our father being diagnosed with cancer. So, needless to say we could REALLY use some good news. I don't know how I managed to get any words out to tell her but somehow I told her that I was going to be a mommy....that God was giving us a baby! We had many more phone calls to make that night and we squeezed a surprise visit in to Stephen's mom to tell her the news as well that she was going to be a grandmother. We were on cloud nine that night and couldn't stop smiling....I was either smiling or crying.

We finally wrapped up the first round of phone calls to share our news and got ready for bed. Once again, we got in bed and looked at each and said, "Now how are we supposed to get any sleep tonight?" It wasn't the first time we said that to each other on this journey and certainly wouldn't be the last.

To be continued...

One More Question

Of course I thought about that phone call all day on Monday. Did she like us? Did we answer that question wrong? Did we sound "fun" enough but not "too fun" and irresponsible.....I kept asking myself all these questions and praying that God would give her wisdom as she made her choice. We had no idea how many other couples she was talking with or what days she had set up phone calls with any of them so we didn't know when we would hear any news.

I was driving home from work that afternoon and my cell phone rang. It read "private caller" on the screen again and I knew it was the agency. I figured if they were calling then they would have news and were probably calling to say that B didn't choose us. I was bracing myself for bad news. The woman from the agency said that B had another question she wanted to ask us and could B call us again that evening to talk. I said of course and told her that Stephen would be home within the next hour so B could call then. I began thinking about what that question would be. The night before we hadn't really discussed how open our relationship would be during the pregnancy and after the baby arrived so I figured that is what she wanted to talk about. Yeah, that must be it. I called Stephen and told him to hurry home because B wanted to talk with us again.

Our phone rang and my heart started racing. B said hello and told us that she really didn't want to keep us on the phone too long but she really just had one more question for us. She said, "I just wanted to ask you both if you would.............. raise my baby girl?"

To be continued...

The Phone Call

So Sunday night came and of course our nerves were on edge. We wanted to show this birthmom that we indeed had what it takes to be parents. The phone rang and I grabbed one of the phones and Stephen went to the bedroom to get on the other phone. I'll call the birthmom "B" for now while referring to her. B told us a little about herself and her situation and I immediately fell in love with this strong woman. She shared that she was a single mom to a son and wanted to be the best mom she could be to him. She was five months along in her pregnancy at this point and said that early on in her pregnancy she knew God had a plan for this baby and He had a special couple to parent this baby. She didn't feel like she could take that on....her life was hard enough raising a son on her own. I began admiring B for her strength to realize this and make an adoption plan...even though there would be such hard days to come for her. I couldn't believe how brave this woman was. She chose life for this baby knowing good and well she may never be the parent. She had a choice to make and she chose the hard road.

After B told us about herself she then began asking us questions. And there were more questions. And then more questions. She had just recently learned the gender of the baby but wanted to keep it a secret until she chose a couple. We definitely had a guess as to what gender the baby was based on the questions B asked us. We talked for about an hour and a half that night and we told her that if she thought of anything else she wanted to ask us to give us a call. We told her we knew she had to talk to other couples and that we would pray for her as she would be making a decision.

We prayed that night before bed for B and for her decision and we prayed for us. Selfishly, we wanted her to choose us so we asked God that she would do just that. We crawled into bed and once again asked each other, "Now how are we supposed to get any sleep tonight?"

To be continued...

Seriously?!?

That same day that the agency had called, I was talking to Stephen on the phone that afternoon and told him we needed to go out to dinner to celebrate. We finished the scrapbook and finally had ALL the paperwork behind us. Now all we had to do was wait....and get the nursery ready! I told him we could even go crazy after dinner and go to Target to register for some baby things. He liked the idea so we went to J. Alexander's for dinner and celebrated. We talked about all the things that we needed to do to get the nursery ready. We already had our crib and rocker and had painted the room so we were well on our way. I needed to paint a dresser we had that would be the changing table. We also wanted to start looking for a bookcase and needed to pick out some gender neutral bedding.

So we ate dinner and headed to Target to do some registering. We didn't have a clue about what we were doing but it was fun and I remember thinking how surreal it was. And it was also weird because they ask you the date the baby was due and we just looked at each other and laughed! We were on the diaper aisle registering for some diapers and my cell phone rang. The screen said "private caller" which was the same thing it said earlier when the adoption agency had called. I answered and it was the agency again. She said that a birthmom had come in that afternoon (remember, it's the same day here people! THE SAME DAY our scrapbook arrived) to look at some scrapbooks and to talk about an adoption plan and she wants to talk with us. I remember just blurting out, "SERIOUSLY?!?" I guess I thought it was a joke because we had just turned in our scrapbook and knew it would take some time. We had prepared ourselves for months of waiting. She said, "yes, I am serious and here is her information." We took down her (the birthmom) phone number and she said that we should call her on Sunday night. She said, "Don't be nervous. Just be yourselves so she can get to know you a little." I remember thinking to myself, "Don't be nervous. Who is she kidding?"

Needless to say we didn't spend a lot more time there at Target that night. We registered for a few more things and headed home. Remember it was Wednesday night. We got home and got ready for bed. Then we looked at each other and said, "Now how are we supposed to sleep or function or do anything at all between now and Sunday night?"

To be continued...