We made plans to go to San Antonio to meet B for late January and my emotions were all over the place as the trip grew near. I was of course overjoyed at the thought of giving this precious woman a great big hug and meeting her face to face. However, I was a nervous wreck as well. It was one thing to like us in pictures and over the phone but a totally different thing to like us in person! All of my insecurities were coming out now full force. I mean I can chat and carry on a normal conversation with someone but I'm not just totally extroverted. If there was ever a time in my life where I wish I was extroverted it was right then and there!
Those days leading up to the visit were spent much in prayer. I kept doubting and worrying that she wouldn't like us and we wouldn't be "fun enough" in her eyes. I worried that after the trip was over she would tell us she was going to chose someone else to parent her baby. I just kept laying it at the Lord's feet and asking for His peace. I tried to rest in Him and His plan for us but it was...oh...so...hard. He had asked me months ago to trust Him and I was trying my best to do that. I don't know why that was so hard to do. I guess because there was so much at stake.
So, it was a Thursday night and we packed our bags to head to San Antonio once again. We settled into bed and prayed for our trip...that God would just allow it to be a sweet beginning of a new life long relationship. And of course once again we found ourselves looking at each other and asking, "Now how are we supposed to get any sleep tonight?"
To be continued...
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